It seems in the wee hours of the morning, self is stripped away. For some reason, my most often insatiable ego, is not searching for something to latch onto at 4am. The Buddhist me isn't looking for the wisdom in everything, the punk rock me isn't trying to push anyones buttons, the activist me isn't searching for a new cause to rally around. Is it cause no one is looking, that this burden of self isn't here right now? Everything is peaceful, everything seems okay.
But gnawing at the back of my heart is an emptiness. Like when Ram Dass describes his experience with LSD, that eventually everything, came to a "one-pointedness". This, some people will claim, is the goal. If so, than why do I feel lacking? Not in a desperate sense, as most my encounters of "emptiness" feel, but more of an emotional understanding of "not yet". Or is this the failed human conditioning, a true understanding of dukha?
Or maybe I am just bored, and can't sleep.
About Me
- Dharma Hooligan
- I have led an extremely sordid life, which will make a best selling memoir and Lifetime after-school-special one of these days. Right now though I am sober, vegetarian Theravadan Buddhist practitioner, Dharma Punk, and active in trying to better self and society as a whole.
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ReplyDeleteTenzin Dasal