True Compassion

I just finished watching "Gandhi" for the first time finally. Utterly moved by a few discoveries of my own mind, I am compelled to comment on them here.

I have suffered a lifetime of unbearable hatred, rage and anger. I always thought it to be a natural reaction to the atrocities I was privy to growing up. I no longer believe that to be true. I was once filled with joy, love and compassion. But I am convinced, as I found there to be a lack of understanding and compassion to match my own in the world around me, aversion grew into a self made state of delusion and insanity. My brain could not bare witness to such apathy, and still hold on to unconditional love at such a young age. I grew angry. As anger grew and the only influence I had was war and violence, not only on the television but in my own home, till eventually I would pick up the only tools that were left by an ignorant upbringing.
Here I think it is important to make a side note. This may also be the point where I lose a lot of my friends faith, for I too often speak disdainfully about the world outside. So I will try to reach more for truth than for my own opinion. At some point in history, western culture decided to do away with "religion" in trade for "personal", "academic", "status", and "philosophical" gain. All of these things important to the evolution of humankind, but I think they get away from core human teachings, in which "religion" has more of a tendency to focus on, such as compassion, loving-kindness, generosity, forgiveness, love. So it is here, in this non-spiritually guided stasis in which I made my start, as we all do. (I also want to note the importance in peoples right to not-believe as well. I do not wish to denote the spiritual quest superior, in which my writings may sometimes tend to give off. For everybody, truth is reality, and that I hold no opinion on the way people live their lives, nor do I hold any of these other pursuits to a "lower" regard then the spiritual one. I can only speak from my experience so I must now apologize for the narrowness of it)
So coupled with no background in truth or love, I took out into the world with only the tools afforded me by my own upbringing. Unbeknown to me, the empathy inside my heart grew, while the mind worked diligently to mask it with judgment and hatred. I learned how to separate myself from the rest of humanity, using class, belief structure, even place of birth as weapons to cut down my fellow man, may it be in my mind or even physically. I ignored the point I was so privileged to hear the Dalai Lama speak of; the fact that we are all made up of the same parts, bones, skin, blood, organs, and that we all seek to escape suffering and be happy. Once I heard that, I believe I had found the cure to my spiritual isolation, which at the time had become debillitating. I started using that. When ever someone would get on the train and I found myself judging my fellow man, I would remind myself that we are all one in the same, and that, race, creed, culture, religion, political beliefs, likes, dislikes; all these things we are taught to believe makes us who we are; are all secondary and do nothing but promote hatred, seperation and ignorance.
Please understand that this is still a struggle for me, I am no saint. But I do believe I am slowly replacing the obsolete tools I used in my earlier days and started picking up the tools that will create love inside my own heart. Only then would I ever hope to be of any use on this planet. We as humans, or even Earthlings, if you will, need to come together. I know it is cliche but we need to come together to cure ourselves of our "differences" and promote unity, compassion and brotherhood. The training starts inside. Create a refuge of mindfulness. Allow yourself to discover what I believe to be true; hatred, rage and anger, is not a natural human response. They are only old tools used to cover up the heartbreak of yesteryear. No matter from what plane of hell you have experienced or even caused in your own life, love lies deep behind all that hatred and if we just allow ourselves to be vulnerable to it, the healing momentum of the human heart will create miracles, inside and out.
From the words of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive."